Funny Facebook Status* Just a reminder in these tough economic times that instead of spending five dollars on my Christmas card, you could just give me five dollars. * Funny Facebook Status It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas. * Funny Facebook Status While assuring children that Santa really does exist, I’m often quick to add “unlike you” just to keep them on their toes. * Funny Facebook Status I love Christmas. What other time of the year can you sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of socks?
Funny Facebook Status You can save a lot on college by learning calligraphy and making your own diploma. Funny Facebook Status We used to call it “recess.” Today they call it “cease fire.” Funny Facebook Status College would be great if it weren’t for all the classes. Funny Facebook Status I’m failing geometry because I refuse to believe that pie are squared. Funny Facebook Status Someone died of a brain aneurysm today while taking a standardized test. The last thing anyone saw him do was stand up, pull all his hair out and yell, “ABACADABA!!
I haven`t seen a spider around the house in days.. WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY PLANNING? Hey haters, I found your nose. It was in my business again. "But mom what if i get kidnapped?" "Trust me, they`d bring you back." That awkward moment when your parents try to gangster...
* Just a reminder in these tough economic times that instead of spending five dollars on my Christmas card, you could just give me five dollars. * It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas. * While assuring children that Santa really does exist, I’m often quick to add...
Funny Facebook Status 1. You can save a lot on college by learning calligraphy and making your own diploma. 2. We used to call it “recess.” Today they call it “cease fire.” 3. College would be great if it weren’t for all the classes. 4. I’m failing geometry because I refuse...
1. Job security: calling my boss and posing as a problematic customer so he’ll realize he still needs me while I’m on vacation. 2. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? 3. Conway’s Law: In any organization there will always be one person who knows what...
1. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer. 2. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. 3. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. 4. Having sex is like...
Explaining the Mad Hatter’s “unbirthday” to your child is a decision you will regret 364 days a year. Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said. Children:...