Hey haters, I found your nose. It was in my business again.
"But mom what if i get kidnapped?" "Trust me, they`d bring you back."
That awkward moment when your parents try to gangster talk to you.
That awkward moment when you realize that someone’s right while you’re proving they’re wrong.
Cell phones should have the option to change "airplane mode" to "drunk mode" that way my drunk texts never leave my phone...
You know you`re stoned when you look at your dog and ask "did you say something?"
"I wasnt that Drunk".
Dude, you were walking around naked trying to put your phone in your pocket.
"I wasnt that Drunk". Dude, you told me to give you a ride home... the party was at your house.
That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong even autocorrect can`t figure out what you meant.
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