Posted by Thomas Ponco

Funny Facebook Status - 6

Funny Facebook Status* Just a reminder in these tough economic times that instead of spending five dollars on my Christmas card, you could just give me five dollars. * Funny Facebook Status It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas. * Funny Facebook Status While assuring children that Santa really does exist, I’m often quick to add “unlike you” just to keep them on their toes. * Funny Facebook Status I love Christmas. What other time of the year can you sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of socks?

Funny Facebook Status Christmas
Posted by Thomas Ponco

Funny Facebook Status - 5

Funny Facebook Status You can save a lot on college by learning calligraphy and making your own diploma. Funny Facebook Status We used to call it “recess.” Today they call it “cease fire.” Funny Facebook Status College would be great if it weren’t for all the classes. Funny Facebook Status I’m failing geometry because I refuse to believe that pie are squared. Funny Facebook Status Someone died of a brain aneurysm today while taking a standardized test. The last thing anyone saw him do was stand up, pull all his hair out and yell, “ABACADABA!!

Funny Facebook Status - 5

1. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
2. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
3. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
4. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
5. Men are like roses, watch out for all of the pricks.
6. If love isn’t a game, then why are there so many players?
7. Don’t waste your on a guy who isn’t willing to waste his on you!
8. Anyone can hate. It costs to love.
9. I almost had a psychic boyfriend, but he left me before we met!
10. True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they’ve gotta match.
11. God, grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
12. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you are probably doing it wrong!
13. Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say!
14. Love is the answer – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions!
15. Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
16. Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
17. When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
18. A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
19. There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
20. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
21. A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.
22. My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
23. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
24. Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
25. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
26. I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
27. Marriage changes Everything!… Suddenly you’reA in bed with a Relative!
28. Love means telling you why you are sorry!
29. Love may be blind but jealousy has 20-20 vision.
30. Love is like water;A We can fall in it. We can drown in it. And we can’t live with out it.
31. When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
32. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
33. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
34. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
35. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
36. I should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I’m a Libra and she’s a bitch.
37. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
38. Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
39. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
40. I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.
41. Virginity is like a soap bubble, one prick and it is gone.