- Explaining the Mad Hatter’s “unbirthday” to your child is a decision you will regret 364 days a year.
- Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
- Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat
word for word what you shouldn’t have said. - Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
- Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
- I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?
- Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.
- Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.
- “There is only one pretty child in the world… and every mother has it.” -A Chinese Proverb.
- Children will soon forget your presents. They will always remember your presence.
- The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
- Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids.
- “Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?”
- You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of
the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom. A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school clothes. - Anyone who says “Easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried it.
- The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.
- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
- Children in backseats cause accidents – Accidents in backseats cause children.
- The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
- If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
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