Posted by Thomas Ponco

Funny Facebook Status - 6

Funny Facebook Status* Just a reminder in these tough economic times that instead of spending five dollars on my Christmas card, you could just give me five dollars. * Funny Facebook Status It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas. * Funny Facebook Status While assuring children that Santa really does exist, I’m often quick to add “unlike you” just to keep them on their toes. * Funny Facebook Status I love Christmas. What other time of the year can you sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of socks?

Funny Facebook Status Christmas
Posted by Thomas Ponco

Funny Facebook Status - 5

Funny Facebook Status You can save a lot on college by learning calligraphy and making your own diploma. Funny Facebook Status We used to call it “recess.” Today they call it “cease fire.” Funny Facebook Status College would be great if it weren’t for all the classes. Funny Facebook Status I’m failing geometry because I refuse to believe that pie are squared. Funny Facebook Status Someone died of a brain aneurysm today while taking a standardized test. The last thing anyone saw him do was stand up, pull all his hair out and yell, “ABACADABA!!

Funny Facebook Status - 5

1. really doesn't get why people like brunch. What's the benefit of combining break-dancing and lunch?
2. thinks that Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavor, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.
3. is reminding you that ‎42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. thinks everything looks like a Mexican soap opera.
5. is reminding you that you can't force fate, you just have to let it wash over you like a spray tan that won't take because your skin is too oily.
6. is wondering if sharks are mean because they feel unloved, or do they just have a mean way of sharing their affection with others?
7. OK little Johnny, very good, dogs go woof, now what sound does a Giraffe make?
8. A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary.
9. If at first you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie
10. It's a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes, Now, potatoes and duct tape and you may have a chance!
11. Do cats burp?
12. Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
13. Sometimes when you make an omelet you've gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative? No omelets at all. Who wants to live in that kind of world?